Psh, Please

I open my email and am greeted by the following email. Look, Mr. and Ms. Would-Be-Scammers. If you're gonna try to con me outta my hard earned moolah, do me a favor. Learn to spell. It'll make you that much more credible which means I just might be dumb enough to fall for it.


THIS IS WHAT I GOT IN MY INBOX

From :: office@usbank.com
to
dateWed, Apr 15, 2009 at 1:17 PM
subjectU.S. Bancorp Customer Account Information !





U.S. Bank Internet Banking is constantly working to increase security for all our Internet Banking users. To ensure the integrity of our online payment system, we periodically review accounts.

Your account might be placed on restricted status. Restricted accounts continue to receive payments, but they are limited in their ability to send or withdraw funds.

* Bonnie Says :: Wow, I'd actually be worried...but hey! I don't have an account with you so I'm aaaaall good. But thanks for being so concerned, Mr. / Ms. Scam Artist. I feel warm and fuzzy now because I know you have my best interest at heart. *

To lift up this restriction, you need to login into your account, then you have to complete our verification process. You must confirm your account details and your billing information as well. All restricted accounts have their billing information unconfirmed, meaning that you may no longer send money from your account until you have updated your billing information on file.

To initiate the billing update confirmation process, please visit U.S. Bank Internet Banking trough our web formular attached to this email.

* Bonnie Says :: Huh??!! What?? The hell is a "trough" in relations to banking? Isn't that what horses and other barnyard animals get their water and feed from? I didn't know you could do banking from them too. And what the hell is a "formular"? Is that like a formula? Dude, I reason why I rely on internet banking to balance my checkbook for me is because I don't WANT to deal with things like math and "formulars". Mmkaythxbye. *

U.S. Bank Investments apologise for any inconvenience this may cause.
Thank you,
[this part was left blank. How shady!!!]

Bonnie Says :: I'd also like to APOLOGIZE for any inconvenience your horrible spelling may cause.

U.S. Bank - Other banks promise great service, U.S. Bank guarantees it.
Please do not reply to this email. This mailbox is not monitored and you will not receive a response. For assistence, log in to your U.S. Bank Internet Banking account and click the Help link located in the top right corner of any U.S. Bank Internet Banking page. This email (including any attachments) is intended for the above-mentioned person(s). If you are not the intended recipient of this email, please delete this email immediately. It is private and confidential and may contain legally privileged information.

Bonnie Says :: Oh brother....please Please PLEASE STEP UP YOUR GAME AND LEARN TO SPELL!!! If Hooked Oh Phonics really works. I highly recommend it for you people.

~*~

This concludes Bonnie's Public Service Announcement for the day.

Miss Adventure's Misadventures :: How I Entertain Myself When I Have To Stay Home

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Kiss Me Thru The Phone - Soulja Boy Tell`em

It's Saturday night. I have 2 different birthday parties I'm supposed to be at right now. I'm trying to do the grown up and responsible thing by staying at home because :

1. I'm still sick.

Dude, this cold is like a toxic exboyfriend that I just cannot shake! I've tried killing it with hardcore antibiotics (disclaimer - I don't kill my exboyfriends / current boyfriends of the toxic or nontoxic variety because I'm not about domestic abuse / emotional abuse / mental abuse / abuse of any kind nor am I keen on the notion of going to prison, mmkaythxbye. My name ain't Chris Brown) but the punk will not go away. It insists on staying put where it is and driving me crazy. What. The. Hell. Yo.

2. I have to work from today till Wednesday.

OMG, WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF??!! STUPID COLD THAT MADE ME CALL OFF SICK ON MY MANDATORY OVERTIME WEEK!! NOW I HAVE TO MAKE UP THE EXTRA DAY NEXT WEEK!! This cold seriously is like a toxic exboyfriend, man. Double You Tee Eff.

So. Since I cannot be out and about with my friends, I decided to play some music as I'm making my lunch for tomorrow and what do I hear? One of my favorite songs!! Yeah, it's the song featured at the beginning of this post. Because it is one of my favorite songs, I do what I always do. I start dancing and once I get started, it's hard to make the Bonnie stop.

I love this song. Why? Because my name's in there. Hell yeah. Within the first minute of the song, you'll hear it.

Baby you know that I miss you, I wanna get with you tonight
But I cannot baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now so baby kiss me thru the phone, I'll see you later on
Kiss me thru the phone, see you when I get home

Baby I know that you like me, you my future wifey
Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, yeah
You can be my Bonnie, I can be your Clyde
You could be my wife, text me, call me

That's RIGHT!!

So here's my personal take on it.

~*~

Baby, you know that I miss you

Tee hee hee....really?


I wanna get with you tonight

WHAT??!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! Boy, you better check yoself right about now.


But I cannot baby girl and that's the issue

Damn straight.


Girl you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now so baby kiss me thru the phone, I'll see you later on
Kiss me thru the phone, see you when I get home

Okay, this is more like it. Good things come to those you wait, sweet pea, and patience is a virtue.


Baby I know that you like me

Oh, yeah? Wow, you must have ESPn or something. Tell me something else that I didn't know I was supposed to know.


you my future wifey
Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, yeah

Wait wait wait....whooooa there, Horsey. Sloooow down, cowboy. And what is up with this pep talk you're giving yourself? Shouldn't that be like...I dunno...an internal conversation? Yeah. That's what I thought.


You can be my Bonnie

Yeah...see....the key word here is "can". Whether or not I will remains to be seen.


I can be your Clyde

You sure can, sweet thaaaaang. But will you be? That, sugar plum, is the question we must ask ourself. Let us meditate on it like true masters of the Ninja.Fu. ;)


You could be my wife, text me, call me

Aaaawww, that's sweet. I'll think about it. :D

I need you in my life, yeah all day ever
yday I need ya
And every time I see ya my feelings get deeper
I miss ya, I miss ya, I really wanna kiss you but I can't
Six, seven, eight, triple nine, eight, two, one, two

Wow. Everyday, huh? THAT'S RIGHT!! YOU BETTA RECOGNIZE!! Haa haa haa!! And, pumpkin, that's not my number. But good try.


Baby I been thinking lately so much about you
Everything about you, I like it, I love it
Kissing you in public, thinking nothing of it
Roses by the dozen, talking on the phone

Aaaw!! Thanks!!


Baby you so sexy, your voice is so lovely
I love your complexion, I miss ya, I miss ya, I miss ya

Aaaaww....tee hee hee...okay, you can call me.

~*~

HAA HAA HAA!!!

God, I'm such a dork. x)

My Poor Chicken Soup

So I've been super sick and besides curling up like an overgrown fetus on my couch, I've been craving hot soup-y stuff. I felt bad for turning my little brother into my personal gopher so I peeled myself off the couch (which took SuperWoman strength, btw. Dude, I didn't know I was so strong! Yes!!!) and went at it in the kitchen.

There's a Korean soup called SamGyeTang (am I spelling this right??!!) and I didn't realize how close it is to the stuff I grew up drinking when I was little.

Anyway, I happily threw a whole bunch of stuff together into a huge pot and TA DAAAA!!! Soup done!! Here's a picture. I'm so proud.


Chicken Soup!! Yummy!!

So I put the following into it:

- a couple of these dried bark looking things
- a few slivers of this white root looking thingy
- a handful of dried red dates
- some dried chestnuts
- 3 ginseng roots
- a clove of garlic
- a ton of green onions (not literally)
- sea salt

Oh yeah. There's a skinned cornish hen somewhere in all that. Dude, I'm really good at skinning chickens. Maybe I should've been a surgeon. :D

So I'm all proud of myself and I posted it for my friends to see and this is what those dorks said about my lovely soup.

MidasMan - that hen looks like a lil frog...lol

Mr.Squats - that looks like a little fetus

OMG!!! THEY'RE TOTALLY DISSING THE POOR CHICKEN THAT SACRIFICIED ITSELF SO THAT I COULD HAVE SOME SOUP!!!

>:(